Wishful thinking

I wish I knew what I really want,

I wish I knew where I'm heading to,

I wish He would reach out to me,

I wish He'd stop looking at me that way,

I wish it was all plain and simple,

I wish I could keep all our promises,

I wish I was the one You deserve,

I wish I still loved You like the first day...

I wish I knew what I really want, but I don't.

I wish I knew where I'm heading to, but the path I was following is harder than I thought.

I wish He would reach out to me, yet I also hope He won't...

I wish He'd stop looking at me that way, and I know it will hurt if He does.

I wish it was all plain and simple, though everything is blurred and twisted.

I wish I could keep all our promises, but that's impossible, isn't it?

I wish I was the one You deserve, because I have failed You in so many ways.

I wish I still loved You like the first day, but all that is left is the flicker of a candle...

...

I feel your breath on my neck

And my hips are alive

You kiss me

And a Fire lights up in my womb

My body calls for yours

Comme nestle inside me

Make me your haven

And forget reality

...

6pm on my balcony

Doubt is sometimes necessary

It is quite interesting how we sometimes have to go through the process of doubting and rejecting everything that is our everyday life, and go to the extent of wishing we could give it all up – husband, child, job – and start over in a whole different direction. And then once enough time has been spent fantasizing about this path we’ve missed, we can realize that there is nothing in that parallel life that would bring more satisfaction or excitement then our own reality. And then we can feel the loneliness and the anguish that really fills that parallel world that at first seemed so much more colourful than the real and open our eyes again on the components of our ordinary, and that’s when we learn how to love again.

I am where I want to be.

tying words

It all started out in infinite boredom.

On the one hand I'm one of the luckiest people on Earth. I'm paid to sit there, edit an official letter once in a while, and sort out a couple of petty administrative issues; thus, about forty hours of my week are spent wasting time on the inter,et, and at the end of the month a generous paycheck still makes its way to my bank account. Thinking about it, I must admit I feel a bit ashamed.

On the other hand, that boredom is sometimes quite unbearable. I mean, who could just sit there doing nothing productive whatsoever for so many hours and not wantto throw himself out the window?!

That's why I started tweeting. Out of utter boredom.

And well, I like blabbering a lot, and tweets are just too short sometimes, so i thought I'd start a blog so I can write a bit more, and see what comes out of it; though most probably nothing will, but at least it will keep me busy for a while.